Finding the ‘Like’ in Love

“Allow yourself the luxury of someone who likes you back.” 

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Saying this, or better yet tweeting this is something that would come across as common sense, no? But in all honesty, looking back at all my past relationships whether they were platonic or not, I have failed to follow that mantra.

Junior year of college was rough to say the least, everything was so chaotic and so negative. The main problem that created all that chaos was that the people in my life did not like me. In fact, they couldn’t stand me. My “friends” were making fun of my interests and hobbies, my old flame did the same and constantly lied about everything and it was almost as if it was easier for them if I was sad. I mean, it’s easier to talk someone into anything when they’re depressed and vulnerable.

So when I say that having people who like you is a luxury, I truly mean that. Find people who support you whether you’re just starting a company or your brand has been booming for years. Allow people to be excited to see you and do you favors because you deserve them and offer people that same luxury and commitment.

When dating, it’s so easy to fall into that: “I’m simple.” “I don’t want much, just honesty and attention” mindset. Is that really you though? Fun, happiness, excitement, solace. That’s the shock value that keeps the relationship connected not just put together. Now, I’m not saying that your relationship should be extravagant 25/8 (if that’s your preference, then by all means), but what I am saying is that you should be surrounding yourself with people who actually want to be there. It’s such a freeing feeling simply because you don’t have to put a majority of your energy trying to convince them on why they should stay.

-But that’s just Jamice…of course.

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“Why I Stayed…” | I’m Finally A Published Author!

So I am an avid reader and I have been writing all my life and I am proud to say that I am now published on Amazon! I wrote a short book of poems and excerpts that follow some of the darkest and happiest times of life dating all the way back to middle school.

Writing is something that comes easy but also is very hard because I excel at fiction but i struggle with putting my real thoughts into post like these. When I make up characters and scenarios, the words just flow and the story kind of weaves itself. On the other hand, when I report my life in a more non-fiction way, I call it “real time writing,” my words tend to become convoluted and take on this start-stop feel in which I feel like I’m reading a first-draft.

In addition, I always love the art of performing as I grew up in church and I am a singer. I was a part of ‘Phenomenal Voices,’ a performing arts and community service group at SUNY University at Albany, and since then I fell in love with the idea of spoken word.

“Why I stayed…” really hits home for me because it is so personal and so raw; but that I know it will evoke strong emotions and hopefully bring back some of those happy memories for my audience. When writing this, it felt like fiction because of the use of metaphors and heavy symbolism and allowed me to really tap into those emotions without having to name names. I love to write fiction and I am currently working on a few novels that I hope to have done by the end of this year or early 2018.

I hope to turn “Why I Stayed…” into a series of about three or four books that fall into each other and allow people to see the real writer behind the great author I aspire to be. If you would like to support my work, you can add the kindle version or the paperback to your summer reading list!

Refresh: The Get Back

Each day you get a fresh 24 hours to have a brand new start and turn your life in a different direction. Each day, you decide whether you want to be stuck in the same situation you were in yesterday or make changes to put you in a better position tomorrow. Each day you can make the conscious effort to be happy or just be. I decided to share with you all a few tips, mantras, or whatever you’d call it that I try and follow to keep myself out the dumps and in control.

  1. Not everyone has to be your friend: This is the opening statement of every speech you get from every black mom from middle school till eternity and I am now starting to realize that mama really knows best. Social media makes it a bit worse when all of the memes and Instagram pictures scream Squad Goals but not everyone is going to be in your squad. That doesn’t mean that you can’t keep them in your life but realize that in life you have your real friends and your party friends.
  2. Be your own cheerleader: If you have a passion, stick to it and believe in yourself. No one is going to support you like you. It’s hard to have something you’re super excited about and it doesn’t get the big name recognition you were hoping for. That’s life. What matters is that you keep going.
  3. Rest: OH MY GOSH, this is so important wow. Take a day off and just relax. Stop checking your emails, your notifications, your blog ratings, your listens on Soundcloud. Stop. Take a breath and do your laundry. Exfoliate. Binge watch TV shows on Netflix but please give yourself some rest. This will allow your brain to recuperate and that creative block you had all week will most likely subside and you’ll be flowing with ideas in no time.
  4.  MER (Month End Reviews): Trying to reach yearly goals are possible but intimidating. I have so many things that I want to achieve before 2017 ends but being in the beginning stages can be overwhelming and feel unattainable. I realized that breaking my goals down week by week and then rating my progress at the end of each month allowed me to see what I am doing right and what tools I need to work on.
  5. Rewards!: After completing your month end review, make sure you reward yourself for the small goals you completed. For example, I’m on the hunt for a new job. I rewarded myself for completing at least five applications per week. It doesn’t have to be huge rewards either. Maybe a trip to the movies, a trip to your favorite restaurant, or those shoes you’ve been eyeing in the mall. But make sure that you give yourself a constant reminder that you’re doing well.
  6. Consistency/Discipline: I feel this goes hand-in-hand. Be disciplined enough to be consistent. I am what you call a habitual procrastinator. If I tell myself I will start something at 5:30 and its 5:31 then I have to wait until tomorrow at 5:30. Setting a schedule whether it be for blogging, recording, designing etc. helps to start and maintain balance. Just like working out, if you keep to a strict schedule, you’ll start seeing results.

These easy steps along with your own personal adaptations are a sure way to help you create whatever visions you see in your head. Keep at it and remember in life, there’s always love!

Signed,

Jamice…of course

New Podcast Alert: The Get Back – Episode One

Hey guys! So I finally got a new pair of headphones with my mic so that I can ramp up production again. I decided to kick off my podcasting again with a new season titled: ‘The Get Back.’ This will feature some helpful tips in order to keep you focused and ease your mind with all those overwhelming thoughts that us millenials have trying to brand ourselves in the industry we want. In addition, I’m looking to give you guys a more detailed look into my personal life with what I call “audio blogging” in which I catch you guys up what’s going in my life with my ‘Big Move’ and starting my new career. Hope you guys and enjoy and remember, in life there is LOVE!

Jamice Of Course – Episode 4: Disappointment & Closure

Hey guys! I know it’s been a while but I am back with episode four of my podcast. This one is about disappointment and closure and sometimes we will have to do with one without the other. Although I got a little excited, I’m passionate about this topic! I hope you guys enjoy and thank you for you support!