“Allow yourself the luxury of someone who likes you back.”
Saying this, or better yet tweeting this is something that would come across as common sense, no? But in all honesty, looking back at all my past relationships whether they were platonic or not, I have failed to follow that mantra.
Junior year of college was rough to say the least, everything was so chaotic and so negative. The main problem that created all that chaos was that the people in my life did not like me. In fact, they couldn’t stand me. My “friends” were making fun of my interests and hobbies, my old flame did the same and constantly lied about everything and it was almost as if it was easier for them if I was sad. I mean, it’s easier to talk someone into anything when they’re depressed and vulnerable.
So when I say that having people who like you is a luxury, I truly mean that. Find people who support you whether you’re just starting a company or your brand has been booming for years. Allow people to be excited to see you and do you favors because you deserve them and offer people that same luxury and commitment.
When dating, it’s so easy to fall into that: “I’m simple.” “I don’t want much, just honesty and attention” mindset. Is that really you though? Fun, happiness, excitement, solace. That’s the shock value that keeps the relationship connected not just put together. Now, I’m not saying that your relationship should be extravagant 25/8 (if that’s your preference, then by all means), but what I am saying is that you should be surrounding yourself with people who actually want to be there. It’s such a freeing feeling simply because you don’t have to put a majority of your energy trying to convince them on why they should stay.
-But that’s just Jamice…of course.
Mental health in the black community is so important. Talking to someone is so important. Understanding how YOU work and how YOU process is so important.
I have nothing else to write. Please listen
Each day you get a fresh 24 hours to have a brand new start and turn your life in a different direction. Each day, you decide whether you want to be stuck in the same situation you were in yesterday or make changes to put you in a better position tomorrow. Each day you can make the conscious effort to be happy or just be. I decided to share with you all a few tips, mantras, or whatever you’d call it that I try and follow to keep myself out the dumps and in control.
- Not everyone has to be your friend: This is the opening statement of every speech you get from every black mom from middle school till eternity and I am now starting to realize that mama really knows best. Social media makes it a bit worse when all of the memes and Instagram pictures scream Squad Goals but not everyone is going to be in your squad. That doesn’t mean that you can’t keep them in your life but realize that in life you have your real friends and your party friends.
- Be your own cheerleader: If you have a passion, stick to it and believe in yourself. No one is going to support you like you. It’s hard to have something you’re super excited about and it doesn’t get the big name recognition you were hoping for. That’s life. What matters is that you keep going.
- Rest: OH MY GOSH, this is so important wow. Take a day off and just relax. Stop checking your emails, your notifications, your blog ratings, your listens on Soundcloud. Stop. Take a breath and do your laundry. Exfoliate. Binge watch TV shows on Netflix but please give yourself some rest. This will allow your brain to recuperate and that creative block you had all week will most likely subside and you’ll be flowing with ideas in no time.
- MER (Month End Reviews): Trying to reach yearly goals are possible but intimidating. I have so many things that I want to achieve before 2017 ends but being in the beginning stages can be overwhelming and feel unattainable. I realized that breaking my goals down week by week and then rating my progress at the end of each month allowed me to see what I am doing right and what tools I need to work on.
- Rewards!: After completing your month end review, make sure you reward yourself for the small goals you completed. For example, I’m on the hunt for a new job. I rewarded myself for completing at least five applications per week. It doesn’t have to be huge rewards either. Maybe a trip to the movies, a trip to your favorite restaurant, or those shoes you’ve been eyeing in the mall. But make sure that you give yourself a constant reminder that you’re doing well.
- Consistency/Discipline: I feel this goes hand-in-hand. Be disciplined enough to be consistent. I am what you call a habitual procrastinator. If I tell myself I will start something at 5:30 and its 5:31 then I have to wait until tomorrow at 5:30. Setting a schedule whether it be for blogging, recording, designing etc. helps to start and maintain balance. Just like working out, if you keep to a strict schedule, you’ll start seeing results.
These easy steps along with your own personal adaptations are a sure way to help you create whatever visions you see in your head. Keep at it and remember in life, there’s always love!